


An Addams for All Seasons

by MiraMira



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Family, Gen, Holidays, Humor, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2346602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraMira/pseuds/MiraMira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Addams Family does celebrate holidays other than Halloween.  They just do it in their own inimitable style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Addams for All Seasons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cookinguptales](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookinguptales/gifts).



> Happy Halloween, cookinguptales! I loved your "the Addamses celebrate other holidays" idea, but couldn't bring myself to choose. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Note: contains a vague spoiler for _Addams Family Values_ (which everyone should watch anyway, because it's hilarious).

**November - Thanksgiving**

“But Wednesday,” Pugsley whined, “why would you sign us up for the local Thanksgiving pageant? You hated the one at summer camp.”

“Not all of it, dear brother,” said Wednesday. “Now hand me that quiver. The spirits of the Wampanoag need avenging.”

**December - Christmas**

“Fester!” Morticia chided, nearly causing her brother-in-law to collide with the Christmas tree as he gave a guilty start. “You know you shouldn't shake your presents.” She squinted more closely at the green-and-red checked wrapping paper adorning the package in his hands. “Especially that one. The contents aren't stable.”

A grin swept the hangdog expression from Fester's face, and he resumed shaking more vigorously than ever. 

“Oh, very well,” said Morticia, exiting the room with a sigh. “But don't blame me when you've nothing to play with on Christmas morning.”

**January – New Year's Day**

“I see the children found an alternative to the ball drop,” Gomez observed, as Fester went hurtling past the window.

**February – Valentine's Day**

Gomez opened his office door to find a pair of burly gentlemen in natty suits and fedoras standing across the hallway, pointing Tommy guns in his direction. As he stared, they began to open fire.

“Aren't they wonderful?” Morticia shouted, appearing behind them. “I found them down by the docks. They offered to use blanks, but this lends a certain verisimilitude, _ne c'est pas?_ ”

“Tisch!” exclaimed Gomez, leaping between the hail of bullets to seize her arm and shower it with kisses.

**March – St. Patrick's Day**

“It just didn't seem fair,” Pugsley explained, over the sound of hissing. “All those poor snakes, chased out of their home. So I thought, well, no one's using the guest bedroom...”

“Except Grandmama,” Gomez pointed out.

“Don't worry,” said Pugsley, as the crooning of an off-key lullaby rose above the hissing. “I think they're going to get along fine.”

**April - Easter**

“Do you think the children have found any eggs yet?” Morticia asked Gomez over brunch, between bites of chicken-fried rabbit.

Gomez cocked an ear toward the booming in the distance. “I don't know, but it sounds like they found the landmines.”

**May – Memorial Day**

“But I don't understand,” Gomez protested, as the police officer cuffed him and led him away from the cemetary gates. “How can you have a proper memorial without an exhumation?”

**June – Fathers' Day**

Gomez rubbed his hands as he took in the spread before him. “Breakfast in bed? I'm honored.”

“Try the horchata,” Wednesday urged. “We made it ourselves.”

Morticia arched an eyebrow. “Cyanide? Again? Didn't you tell me you were going to be more creative this year?”

“Now, now,” said Gomez, reaching for the glass. “What's a holiday – or an Addams – without tradition?”

**July – Independence Day**

“Pugsley!” Fester raced across the lawn to where Pugsley stood beside an enormous rocket, its fuse sputtering away. “You promised you wouldn't light it until I got back with the rope!”

**August – Senior Citizens' Day**

“Ridiculous made-up holidays,” Grandmama grumbled. “In my day, people would never have stood for such things. I suppose it's just another sign I'm one step closer to the grave.”

“That's the spirit, Mama,” said Morticia brightly, offering an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

**September – Labor Day**

“You were right, dear.” Gomez passed the newspaper across the table to his wife so she could read the TERROR AT RESORT headline for herself. “A vacation was just what Lurch and Thing needed.”

**October**

“I don't know what it is, Tisch,” said Gomez, slipping an arm around Morticia's waist as the latest group of trick-or-treaters fled in terror, “but as much fun as other holidays can be, there's something truly magical about Halloween.”

Blood-curdling screams from earlier visitors who had finally worked up the courage to peek inside their goody bags began to echo in the distance. Morticia smiled. “I couldn't agree more, darling.”


End file.
